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Allowing and ForcingAnd I stood there waitingat our special place.God's tears poureddown on me for he knew you would never show.But I had an ounce of hope.You would come. You had to.So I allowed.I allowed my hair to soak.I allowed water to squish between my toes.I allowed the pain to come.But told it that you wouldn't be long.And I forced.I forced myself to stay.I forced myself to trust that you loved me enough.I forced the tears back when they tried to come.But the sky grew dark.And my head dropped.My legs moved me awayfrom there.And my heart said to stay.But I knewthat what my heart saysnever really matters.I should have never come.I knewsomewhere deep downthat you never really cared enough to show.
Reality vs. MindIn my mind
I can still hear your words "We'll be together for all eternity."You spoke of me in such a high manorLike I was actually special to youBut in reality
I hear the piercing rainBeating down on the windowsThey were my heartThat I held wide open for youAnd you are the knifeShowing me that you never really caredFor meIn my mind
I try to forget that ILet you in..Shared my darkest secrets with you..And let myself love youMore than life itself..But in reality
I really didAll of thatAndI can never forgive myselfIn my mind
I still want to love you.I still want to need you.But in reality
You won't let meYou've moved onTo someone else.Life isn't fairIn my mind
We're back toThe happy daysYou never cheatedAnd we are madly in loveBut in reality
There's only sadAnd lonely daysYou probably never loved me.